I don’t love you anymore
Not because you chose him. Not because you never seriously wanted me to begin with. Not because you let me be the fall guy and never stood up for me to him or to our peers. Not because you hid what we had and will never admitt to it publicly. All that I can forgive because I understood you, and I knew deep down you were still someone who I could respect. So I could still love you. I feel disgusted to look at you now, and I hate that I do because it invalidates all of the good parts of what we had, but I do. Because you betrayed my trust, my deepest insecurities, things I said when I was begging at my weakest, to him of all people. I can’t forgive that. I’m sorry I hurt you all the times I was angry and upset and just dying for a response. I’m sorry I didn’t just walk away then instead of holding onto a dream that never existed. I’m sorry I treated you like my daisy, I didn’t die like jay at least. I saw your post, I still check, just a greater intervals. It confuses me and shakes my confidence in being done with you. But I am done. I’m no heathcliff despite the romanticism in such a role, I will not let you be my Catherine. You don’t dominate my life anymore. You have Edgar, he everything you need. Those several thousand text messages all boiled down to one thing, I loved that girl You were to me. But I don’t see that girl anymore. That girl never would have betrayed me. He won, the smart decision was made and I’m better off now anyway. Our fantasies were just fantasies. Our someday was just a thought.
